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libraryofbabel"Hey—hey, get back on your cot!" the older woman says, eyes going wide when she reenters the medic tent and sees you up and about. "What did I tell you? You'll heal more slowly if you keep mucking about like that."1
"It's good enough," you say, shrugging on your jacket. "I heard the others were heading out—"
"No, Grace," she says, sternly, and grips your shoulder—and a lance of pain shoots through your arm, making you wince. "See? It's not healed. I know you want to follow the others and be out there in the action, but you have to remember you can't just heal through it anymore. A mortal life is a gift,2 and it's one you have to take care of."
You sigh, and look away—jaw clenched bitterly. The work matters, and you have so little time compared to the others.3
An idea starts to form in your head, as you shuffle back to your cot and argue with the medic about at least being allowed to read if you're going to be bored.4 It's an idea you didn't think you'd ever entertain seriously, but—
—but, there are some things more important than a mortal life or your eternal soul.5 And if you'll be damned for doing what you must to better fight the good fight—then you hardly care about the opinion of the one doing the judging.
[1] Yi had sprained her shoulder not a few days before, fighting a vampire with the monstrous strength that she would one day be able to leverage herself. As an enthralled "ghoul," she had access to some of the powers of a vampire while still being a human, as well as faster healing; as a mortal once again, it was difficult to adjust to having to take extra care.
[2] This was phrasing oft-repeated to her, and something that she remembered, even as she watched the arc of history bend in such a way that girls like her were much happier and had more opportunities afforded to them. To have only a brief window of time to make one's mark on the world was not a frailty or a curse, but something that drove ambition and innovation, and made one consider what legacy one might leave behind.
[3] The fact that vampires had forever to stain the earth with greed and gluttony rankled, to her; the fact that the vampires among their band had committed to spend just as long fighting them and removing that eternity from those who would misuse it had begun to feel like more and more of a reasonable choice.
[4] While she had learned much under her regnant's tutelage, many things had been outside his sphere of interests and therefore not things she heard much of; many other things he had considered inappropriate for her. She had a lot to catch up on, after a decade of that.
[5] One could argue to her (and many had, in fact) that what she did while enthralled to a vampire at his request was not something she could consider to be on her conscience. That did not, however, change the fact that she had experienced it; that she had, at the time, wanted to please him; that she spilled blood with her own two hands. To accept that she had no complicity in it would be to accept her own objectification.
"It's good enough," you say, shrugging on your jacket. "I heard the others were heading out—"
"No, Grace," she says, sternly, and grips your shoulder—and a lance of pain shoots through your arm, making you wince. "See? It's not healed. I know you want to follow the others and be out there in the action, but you have to remember you can't just heal through it anymore. A mortal life is a gift,2 and it's one you have to take care of."
You sigh, and look away—jaw clenched bitterly. The work matters, and you have so little time compared to the others.3
An idea starts to form in your head, as you shuffle back to your cot and argue with the medic about at least being allowed to read if you're going to be bored.4 It's an idea you didn't think you'd ever entertain seriously, but—
—but, there are some things more important than a mortal life or your eternal soul.5 And if you'll be damned for doing what you must to better fight the good fight—then you hardly care about the opinion of the one doing the judging.
[1] Yi had sprained her shoulder not a few days before, fighting a vampire with the monstrous strength that she would one day be able to leverage herself. As an enthralled "ghoul," she had access to some of the powers of a vampire while still being a human, as well as faster healing; as a mortal once again, it was difficult to adjust to having to take extra care.
[2] This was phrasing oft-repeated to her, and something that she remembered, even as she watched the arc of history bend in such a way that girls like her were much happier and had more opportunities afforded to them. To have only a brief window of time to make one's mark on the world was not a frailty or a curse, but something that drove ambition and innovation, and made one consider what legacy one might leave behind.
[3] The fact that vampires had forever to stain the earth with greed and gluttony rankled, to her; the fact that the vampires among their band had committed to spend just as long fighting them and removing that eternity from those who would misuse it had begun to feel like more and more of a reasonable choice.
[4] While she had learned much under her regnant's tutelage, many things had been outside his sphere of interests and therefore not things she heard much of; many other things he had considered inappropriate for her. She had a lot to catch up on, after a decade of that.
[5] One could argue to her (and many had, in fact) that what she did while enthralled to a vampire at his request was not something she could consider to be on her conscience. That did not, however, change the fact that she had experienced it; that she had, at the time, wanted to please him; that she spilled blood with her own two hands. To accept that she had no complicity in it would be to accept her own objectification.