Testimonials: Samantha Moon
Aug. 27th, 2021 06:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
libraryofbabelS: You watched Mr. Rogers. Why am I not surprised?
H: Of course I did. Public television is a social good.
S: Yeah. Well, "good" has always been your brand.
H: (pauses) ...that you've seen, at least. Now—what were you going to tell me?
S: That I'm the opposite. That unlike you, I probably deserve Hell.
H: Will the dramatics of people wanting me to hate them never cease.
H: Pardon me if I'm terse, but I've been fielding a lot of that this week. But I really do want to know. If I promise I won't immediately leave this conversation, will you tell me?
S: I'm getting to it. It's just...complicated. How much do you remember the Predators?
H: I remember what happened to Iris's... sister? That she became one of them.
H: And that other one, the man. Despond? ...probably about time I went fishing for more memories relating to that, but if you can shed more light on that I'd be much obliged.
S: Iris's sister. After she was "uplifted."
S: She was killed. Do you remember that?
H: ...no. Not yet.
S: Well. She was.
S: It was supposed to be a capture. She was running around, murdering people. We were supposed to stop her, try to rein in the chaos. But things didn't go according to plan. I could have stopped it. But I didn't.
(silence)
H: There's a lot of "I could have stopped it, but I didn't" out there in the world. You'd hardly be the first. I'll ask you the same thing I ask everyone who comes to me with that sort of thing: what would you do differently, if you could do it again?
S: I would have protected Iris better than I did.
H: I've had to think a great deal recently about the idea of what we owe to one another—
H: ...not least because when their other loved ones are on the line, it seems many of the units here don't seem to think they owe mine anything. From any action, who gains? Who is harmed? Caring for one another, we must care for the things that they care for, as well.
H: ...now I don't know if Iris would be satisfied, but—that's an answer I'm more or less satisfied with.
H: I don't know how it became a conception that I've never made mistakes. I just know the only kind I know for certain I would not forgive are the ones that one refuses to learn from.
S: You're a natural leader, Grace. You project an aura of certainty that most of us never dream of possessing.
S: Anyway, I'm okay if Iris never forgives me. It would be harder if you didn't.
H: I respected the work the Prince of Los Angeles was doing, I believe, which is why I came to settle there. But to create a world free of darkness has long been my goal.
S: Little Sam was darkness. And the other Predators too.
S: It's why I can't regret what happened, Grace. And why I won't let it happen again. Any of it.
H: Not having my own recollection or perspective on that time as of yet—I'll defer passing any kind of judgment on darkness. I just—well, I know Iris loved that little girl.
H: At some point—I suppose I decided there was some worth to being a vampire able to combat vampires on their own level, or, at least, that it could blacken my heart little more than being a ghoul had.
H: ...I wonder when I decided that not all vampires were past hope. I wonder if there's any hope for them, too, or if there's a point of no return.
S: I think when you forget how to feel, forget what empathy is, that's a pretty bad sign. When you break the world just to prove you're better, you kinda cross a line.
H: That's certainly to the extreme end, no doubt. I'm just starting to recall that I'm hardly free of sin myself.
S: Just remember...you didn't wreck the world.
H: That's a bit like telling someone "at least you're not as bad as Hitler," Samantha. It's not holding myself to a high standard to be regretful of the things I did to others and the way I affected the world.
H: Sam, if you remember anything, though, remember this: no one is "good." That's part of what free will means; we can make choices for good or for ill, and to continue the work is to strive to make more of the former than the latter. No individual is infallible.
H: Of course I did. Public television is a social good.
S: Yeah. Well, "good" has always been your brand.
H: (pauses) ...that you've seen, at least. Now—what were you going to tell me?
S: That I'm the opposite. That unlike you, I probably deserve Hell.
H: Will the dramatics of people wanting me to hate them never cease.
H: Pardon me if I'm terse, but I've been fielding a lot of that this week. But I really do want to know. If I promise I won't immediately leave this conversation, will you tell me?
S: I'm getting to it. It's just...complicated. How much do you remember the Predators?
H: I remember what happened to Iris's... sister? That she became one of them.
H: And that other one, the man. Despond? ...probably about time I went fishing for more memories relating to that, but if you can shed more light on that I'd be much obliged.
S: Iris's sister. After she was "uplifted."
S: She was killed. Do you remember that?
H: ...no. Not yet.
S: Well. She was.
S: It was supposed to be a capture. She was running around, murdering people. We were supposed to stop her, try to rein in the chaos. But things didn't go according to plan. I could have stopped it. But I didn't.
(silence)
H: There's a lot of "I could have stopped it, but I didn't" out there in the world. You'd hardly be the first. I'll ask you the same thing I ask everyone who comes to me with that sort of thing: what would you do differently, if you could do it again?
S: I would have protected Iris better than I did.
H: I've had to think a great deal recently about the idea of what we owe to one another—
H: ...not least because when their other loved ones are on the line, it seems many of the units here don't seem to think they owe mine anything. From any action, who gains? Who is harmed? Caring for one another, we must care for the things that they care for, as well.
H: ...now I don't know if Iris would be satisfied, but—that's an answer I'm more or less satisfied with.
H: I don't know how it became a conception that I've never made mistakes. I just know the only kind I know for certain I would not forgive are the ones that one refuses to learn from.
S: You're a natural leader, Grace. You project an aura of certainty that most of us never dream of possessing.
S: Anyway, I'm okay if Iris never forgives me. It would be harder if you didn't.
H: I respected the work the Prince of Los Angeles was doing, I believe, which is why I came to settle there. But to create a world free of darkness has long been my goal.
S: Little Sam was darkness. And the other Predators too.
S: It's why I can't regret what happened, Grace. And why I won't let it happen again. Any of it.
H: Not having my own recollection or perspective on that time as of yet—I'll defer passing any kind of judgment on darkness. I just—well, I know Iris loved that little girl.
H: At some point—I suppose I decided there was some worth to being a vampire able to combat vampires on their own level, or, at least, that it could blacken my heart little more than being a ghoul had.
H: ...I wonder when I decided that not all vampires were past hope. I wonder if there's any hope for them, too, or if there's a point of no return.
S: I think when you forget how to feel, forget what empathy is, that's a pretty bad sign. When you break the world just to prove you're better, you kinda cross a line.
H: That's certainly to the extreme end, no doubt. I'm just starting to recall that I'm hardly free of sin myself.
S: Just remember...you didn't wreck the world.
H: That's a bit like telling someone "at least you're not as bad as Hitler," Samantha. It's not holding myself to a high standard to be regretful of the things I did to others and the way I affected the world.
H: Sam, if you remember anything, though, remember this: no one is "good." That's part of what free will means; we can make choices for good or for ill, and to continue the work is to strive to make more of the former than the latter. No individual is infallible.