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libraryofbabelWhen Iris first floats the idea past you,1 you're quick to snap: absolutely not.
"You've got a whole life ahead of you, Iris. You have plenty of ways to make wonderful contributions to the world as an individual—you're clever and kind besides. There's no shame in living a life of peace—it's to be aspired to."2
Hypocrite. Immortality suited you just fine, didn't it? You got all the opportunity you dreamed of.
She huffs. The youthful fat has all gone from her cheeks, but there's still something slightly petulant about the expression. You could almost imagine her tugging on your sleeve, if she hadn't figured long ago that you're keen on your personal space. "Grace—but I could be making contributions to the world right now,3 saving people like you saved me, and it's of my own free will—"
You sigh. "When you're older—it'll be your choice to make. You're too young, as it is, to be making that kind of decision about your immortal soul. Even though our order only turns those who are full willing, going into it with eyes open—see a little bit more of life, first, before you throw it away. Please. For me."
"But you—"
Another look from you and she falls silent, wrapping her arms around her knees to lean in toward your campfire. She knows when your expression means drop it.
It's not the last time she brings it up, though—she waits a few months, just past her next birthday. You wish she'd stop dreaming of dying,4 but you also recognize in her a spirit not dissimilar to your own—the kind that it's really hard to dissuade from giving up—and you suspect you'll be revisiting this topic for far longer than you'd like.5
[1] Like Yi before her, Iris had seized upon the idea of becoming a vampire to better fight vampires.
[2] Yi herself had not found cause to regret her choice to become a vampire at that point; however, she did not think there was much else she could have done with her life, given what she had experienced. Not that she had no other skills—but, simply, it was the only choice she wanted to make.
[3] At the time she was sixteen—the same age Yi had been when her life had been upended. During that time, it wasn't uncommon for children of her age to work, but given her life so far, Iris had barely had time to be a child at all.
[4] In Tokyo-F, many of Hope's friends and unitmates would question whether she had really "died," insofar as she retained many of the characteristics that they felt made up a life. Certainly, she could still move through the world, and make friends; she could learn and change, as long as she put the effort into it. However, there is an inherent stasis to the vampiric condition that must be actively fought, rather than the growth inherent to human nature; furthermore, in the philosophy of the Sept, her religious order, to become a vampire under their banner was to give one's existence over to a cause, with the acceptance that it would mean one's own damnation; a death of the self in metaphor at minimum.
[5] In the end, a few years in the future, Yi did in fact become Iris's sire—that is, in vampire parlance, the one to change her into a vampire.
"You've got a whole life ahead of you, Iris. You have plenty of ways to make wonderful contributions to the world as an individual—you're clever and kind besides. There's no shame in living a life of peace—it's to be aspired to."2
Hypocrite. Immortality suited you just fine, didn't it? You got all the opportunity you dreamed of.
She huffs. The youthful fat has all gone from her cheeks, but there's still something slightly petulant about the expression. You could almost imagine her tugging on your sleeve, if she hadn't figured long ago that you're keen on your personal space. "Grace—but I could be making contributions to the world right now,3 saving people like you saved me, and it's of my own free will—"
You sigh. "When you're older—it'll be your choice to make. You're too young, as it is, to be making that kind of decision about your immortal soul. Even though our order only turns those who are full willing, going into it with eyes open—see a little bit more of life, first, before you throw it away. Please. For me."
"But you—"
Another look from you and she falls silent, wrapping her arms around her knees to lean in toward your campfire. She knows when your expression means drop it.
It's not the last time she brings it up, though—she waits a few months, just past her next birthday. You wish she'd stop dreaming of dying,4 but you also recognize in her a spirit not dissimilar to your own—the kind that it's really hard to dissuade from giving up—and you suspect you'll be revisiting this topic for far longer than you'd like.5
[1] Like Yi before her, Iris had seized upon the idea of becoming a vampire to better fight vampires.
[2] Yi herself had not found cause to regret her choice to become a vampire at that point; however, she did not think there was much else she could have done with her life, given what she had experienced. Not that she had no other skills—but, simply, it was the only choice she wanted to make.
[3] At the time she was sixteen—the same age Yi had been when her life had been upended. During that time, it wasn't uncommon for children of her age to work, but given her life so far, Iris had barely had time to be a child at all.
[4] In Tokyo-F, many of Hope's friends and unitmates would question whether she had really "died," insofar as she retained many of the characteristics that they felt made up a life. Certainly, she could still move through the world, and make friends; she could learn and change, as long as she put the effort into it. However, there is an inherent stasis to the vampiric condition that must be actively fought, rather than the growth inherent to human nature; furthermore, in the philosophy of the Sept, her religious order, to become a vampire under their banner was to give one's existence over to a cause, with the acceptance that it would mean one's own damnation; a death of the self in metaphor at minimum.
[5] In the end, a few years in the future, Yi did in fact become Iris's sire—that is, in vampire parlance, the one to change her into a vampire.